Trying to Feel
by Mrs Turtle
Summary: Raph centric. Raph comes home beaten and bruised. Rating pg 13 for cussing and serious issues.FINISHED!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:I do not own the Ninja Turtles. Ok, so I decided to revamp this story. Most of the story hasn't changed, I just went through and made a lot of things sound better, fixed a lot of grammatical errors (didn't realize there were so many) and put a few of the chapters together. Here it is, I hope you guys will think this one is better.  
**

**"Denver took off her shoes and steped into the water with her."-Toni Morrison's Beloved  
**

Raphael staggered back to the lair dirty and bruised. He had just gotten out of a fight with one of the local gangs. But this fight wasn't fair, it was the two he had come across against twelve other big thugs. Raph hated losing.

"Hey, bro what's wrong?" Mike asked as he stumbled into the couch. He was so beat up that he fell over the couch.

"Oh My GOD! Raph, hey, you're gonna be ok, just hang in there." Mikey panicked as he tried to help his brother. "Uh, GUYS!" He yelled, trying to attract his other brother's attention, "GUYS!"

"What is it Mikey?" Donatello questioned from his room.

"You break the microwave again?" Leo joked, not looking up from what he was doing.

"Guys this isn't funny! Raph doesn't normally pass out like this does he?"

"What?" The two other turtles question as they rush over.

"What happened?" Leo asked as he tries to fan his brother back to life.

"I don't know, he just came in, bumped into the couch, and passed out."

When Raph came to he had his whole family standing over him. He was glad to be lying on his back having his sensei talk to him.

"What has happened my son?" Splinter asked.

"I guess I have to explain it to you guys, huh?" Raph was barely able to get out.

* * *

"So, they saw you?" Leo said 

"Yes, they saw me." Raphael had a crushed look on his face. After they had revived him back to life he told them about Angela and Drake. They were a very close brother and sister who lived in a bad part of town. Drake was an informant for the cops. The gang he was informing on found out and decided to kill him. That's where Raph came in. They had met about a month before this incident. Angela was getting harassed by an opposing gang. He helped her, in the process she saw him. Somehow she wasn't scared. And that was good, because he had gotten hurt in that incident as well. He suggested that he could just go over to Casy's house untill he got some rest, and she told him that she knew Casey since she was a young child. That won Raph over. They got to know each other and eventually he was introduced to Drake.

"Why did you not tell of this before, Raphael?" Splinter asked.

"Because I knew you guys would be freaked out that someone knew about us. At first I was scared too but they're both really nice. Well, Drake was a nice person. Angela is nice too. She's just extremely stubborn. Drake used to joke that we both shared a brain, we were so alike."

"If Drake was shot and killed why didn't she come back down here with you?" Donatello asked. "Do they know about us?"

"Yes, she knows about you guys. But she refused to leave his side. Someone called the cops, when I heard the sirens I split. The rest of the gang ran off too."

"Aren't you worried about her?" Mikey asked.

"Of COURSE I'm worried about her," Raphael blurted out, "She can't take this; he was all she had. When I saw them together I was reminded of us. I know they would love each other no matter what."

"How old is she?" Master Splinter asked.

"Fifteen just like us. Drake was nineteen. He was taken care of her all by himself since he was seventeen. They came from a troubled home. So he was watchin' after her since before that, but that's how long they've been on their own. She even runs her own web thing, she can live on her own. I'm not so sure she wants to though."

"Why don't we go see for ourselves how she is," Leo suggested.

"Lets wait just a little while," Raph suggested,"she just lost her brother."

* * *

Two weeks later...

* * *

"Are you sure you wanna meet the guys?" Raph asked. 

"Yeah, I'm ready." Angela assured him.

"OK. I'll call them and April and tell them we're coming over," Raph pulled out his shell cell. "The guys are at the junkyard training. Master Splinter let me take time off today to come and see you." _And all it took was two hours of personal training time with him. _Raph thought, _I'm sore all over, but it was worth it._

"Thank you." Angela looked at the ground.

"For what?" Raphael asked, worried that he had accidentally said something out loud.

"I know training is important to you. Thank you for taking time out of time out of it to spend time with me. You didn't have to, you know. You come over here often enough as it is."

"I know, but me coming over here before, I always got distracted by Casey. He has a date tonight, right?" She nodded, " I want to spend some time with just you. Training isn't as important as you are, Angie."

There was a moment of silence as they looked into each other's eyes. Angie started blushing, Raphael looked down. Then there was a thump at the window. They both jumped and looked at the source of the sound outside of the window; an orange mask stared back at them, waving with a silly grin on his face.

"Mikey! Jesus! You scared me half to death," Raph started yelling at him when he opened the door to let him in. "What are you doin' here? I told you to meet at April's."

"I know, but April called us, she has a date tonight, she wouldn't say with who. The guys are on their way, I raced them here and won by a mile!" Mikey was talking extremely fast and was jumping up and down.

"Are you on a sugar rush?" Angie asked.

"No," Raph said, "He's always like this. Wait, April has a date?"

"Yeah. Hey, where's Casey?" Mikey asked, looking out the window for his other brothers.

"He has a date tonight."

"Really?" Donatello and Leonardo asked suspiciously as they came leisurly came in.

"It's not all that odd is it?" Angela asked, "People go out on dates in New York every night. Just because they're both out doesn't mean they're together."

"You haven't known them as long as we have." Mikey said, "To us this is extremely suspicious."

"Well, no, she's right you guys," Don said, climbing in, "They could be across town from each other for all we know."

"Yeah, yeah." The others mumbled

"You're Angela, right?" Leo extended his arm out to greet her. She took his hand, thinking she was in for a big handshake but he brought it up to his beak and kissed it. There was an enraged look on Raph's face that no one seemed to notice. They were all enthralled with Angela.

"Hey Raph, you didn't tell us she was pretty." Donatello said said, looking straight at the blushing girl.

"Yeah, I'd use a pick up line if I wasn't a turtle." Mike said.

"Leave her alone." Raph said.

"How do you like living at Casey's?" Leo asked.

"It's kinda cool, I've never been in an apartment as nice as his."

Nice, she thinks his place is nice, that's sad, Raph thought as he looked around at Casey's apartment. It had chipping paint, torn up worn out carpeting, and there was a chip in the counters in the kitchen, which was half a foot from the living room where they were standing.

Two hours and three large cheese pizzas later the boys headed out the door.

"Hey, don't forget to e-mail me that new program idea," Donnie called to Angela, then he said to Raph, "I had no idea she liked computers so much. Who knew that a drop-out with a GED could be so smart."

"Excuse me," Raph said, "Have you ever been to school?"

"Oh, no…Good point, sorry."

"You guys go on ahead," Raph told everyone, "I'll catch up a little later."

"OK, don't stay out too late Raph, we have early training tomorrow with Master Splinter, don't forget."

"I wont. Don't worry, 'Mr. 'fearless-leader'," Raph called out as his brothers walk down the street in a row. As his brothers walk down the street, he turns to her.

"Angie, thank you so much for letting us come over here."

"Oh, it was no problem. I haven't had so much entertainment in a long time," She flopped down on the couch.

"How ya doin'? Holdin' up ok?" She nodded, sitting up. "I know it's hard. You know I'm here for you, you can tell me anything. And Casey is here too. He wont let anything happen to you."

"I'm just so scared," He sat down next to her and she put her head on his shoulder while he put his arm around her, "What if they find out where I am? What if they come after me? I don't want to be here if they come after me, they might hurt Casey too."

"That's not going to happen, the police have a few of them behind bars. After you spoke at their trail, I don't think that they are getting out any time soon."

"You don't understand, they have people on the outside who could kill me, not everyone was picked up."

"Don't worry about it," Raph sighed. "I'll keep you safe, don't worry."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I don't own the Turtles

**"It took a moment for her to drag her eyes from the spectacle of Beloved's head to see what she was looking at."-Toni Morrison's Beloved**

_A grassy plane. It should be peaceful, but there's something wrong. Raph could feel it. Something was very wrong. Everything looked alright, but the young turtle knew that looks could be decieving. There were blue skies and long green grass as far as he could see. Then he figured it out. He was being watched. He heard a voice whisper, _take care of her_. **Who are you**, he thought. _A friend_, came the whispered reply._

When Raph woke up he was sweating and confused. He knew he wasn't in his room. He kept his eyes shut and listened. When he didn't hear any breathing or moving around he opened his eyes. The ceiling was a crackeled dull white and had water marks on it. He looked to his left, still trying to comprehend where he was; the last thing he remembered was talking with Angie on the couch late into the night. He didn't know how long they had stayed up. He knew he was in trouble with Master Splinter, and that was enough to make him worried. Staring at a second-hand mohagony book case about five feet high, crammed with books, he figured that he was in Angela's room.

He felt light headed and hungry as he sat up. He got up and walked to the door. He listened for noises coming from the outside. There weren't any. Raphael didn't like how quiet it was, he still had the feeling he was being watched. He slowly opened the door and peered out into Casey's living room.

Sneaking out he went to the door of the kitchen. He heard music blaring. Aerosmith; Janie's Got a Gun, and a pan was being jostled, probably in the preparation of breakfast. He listened, it sounded like there was only one person in there, but he couldn't tell for sure. The song ended and another one started. After the first verse someone started singing with the chorus with deafaning flatness; "I was cryin' when I met you, now I'm dyin' to forget you..."

Raph Burst in..."Your love is sweet misery..."

"Hey," Angie said, "You're up!"

"Yeah. Is Casey home?"

"I don't think he came home last night, his door's still open. Didn't you have training this morning?"

"Yeah," Raph sighed, "I'm probably gonna get hell from Splinter and Splinter Jr. when I get home."

"Oh, I'm sorry." She was genuinly worried, "You better get home before you you get into any more trouble."

"I don't think a little while longer is gonna matter much, Leo's gonna be riding my ass no matter how late I get back. I'm really getting sick of him. I doubt I'll begettin' breakfast when I get home. What'ya makin'?"

"Eggs and bacon. There's some bread on the counter over there, you could make yourself some toast if you want." The turtle moved over to the counter space she indicated, and after he popped in the slices, he looked over at Angie,who was shaking her head."You should be more kind to your brother." Wanting to drop the subject, he startedwondering what kind of accent she had. Her attitude was New York, her accent wasn't, not quite. It was more fluid, not as choppy. Noticing his gaze she raised an eybroow.

"You're not from New Yourk, are you?"

Sensing he didn't want to continue talking about his brother, she looked back at the eggs, surprised that he had noticed what most people looked over. "My parents moved me and Drake over here from France when I was about four. That's when things started getting rough. We got mugged right out of the airport, luckily my mother had hidden our passports and green cards with me, but those were the only things not taken. Things went down hill beautifully after that." Raph stared down at the counter. He had no idea that she was from another country. His toast was ready, but he didn't notice.

"Can you speak French?"

"Bien sûr." She smiled, "Technically english is my second language, I learned it in kindergarten."

"I would never of known."

* * *

Earlier that morning..."Where's Raphael?" Donatello asked.

"He didn't come home. I hope he's not in trouble. Maybe we should ask sensai to go up top to look for him." Leonardo said.

"Hellooo..." Mikey chimed in, "He stayed with Angela. How much you wanna bet he stayed over there last night for a little somethin' and now he's sleeping it off?"

"Lets hope for his sake," Leo said, "That if that is the case that Master Splinter doesn't find out. But he's only known her for a little while, he's not like that."

"Yea, he wouldn't do another species so quickly." Mike said.

* * *

Later that morning, when Raph walked into the lair at 10:00 A.M.

* * *

Raph stood at the enterance to the lair and had his head hung, his sensai had been waiting for him, and was making sure he knew that he was in trouble.

"Four hours I waited. You show no respect. You directly disobeyed me. I let you go to that girls house. Because you did not show up for practice this morning...You are GROUNDED!"

"What? You can't do that! I missed practice this morning, so what?"

"You know how important training is Raph," Leo butted in, "You've been missing a lot of training lately."

"Get off your high-horse Leo!" Raph stepped up to his brother.

"You're just jealous because you know I'm right. Who knows what you've been doing with Angela." Leo was quickly closing the gap between them.

"What?" Raph spat out, now inches from his brothers face. They were standing eye to eye but not able to understand each other.

"You heard what I said," Leo whispered.

"BOYS!" Splinter stepped in between them, "Both of you to your rooms, now."

"Forget this. I'm outta here." Raph ran out of the lair.

"What?" Mikey asked, looking at Donnie, who was just as puzzled.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I don't own the Turtles

**"A turtle inched along the edge, turned and climbed onto dry land. Not far from it was another one, headed in the same direction." -Toni Morrison's Beloved.**

An old church. It's filled with homeless people, old and young, and now, a turtle.

Raph sits in a corner. He had wandered into the building thinking it was empty. By the time he came in a number of people had already seen him and were startled. But the preacher came up to him and placed an arm around him saying, "Don't be afraid, my child. We are all in the same boat. You are welcome here. Wait here just a moment while I prepare a room where we can talk. My name is Father Tyler." He turned to everyone else in the small building. "This is a friend. If he was going to hurt you, he would have done it by now. Do not fear him." he turned back to Raph and whispered, "Tell them your name."

"Hi," He said awkwardly, "I'm Raphael. I just need a place to stay."

The church was a sacred place for outcasts. They could get food when they needed it and some medical treatment. Father Tyler also handed out blankets and gloves and anything he could to a person in need, physically or spiritually. There was even a service on Sunday, where all of the forsaken people, low-income families, ones without a home, and especially the ones who lived in the church, could attend and hear the word of God without having the pressure of having to put something into the collection plate.

Raph sat in a corner and looked around. He saw a big scruffy guy with no teeth in the front pew, rocking back and forth talking to himself. Most of the people in the building were single men, but there was a mother and daughter near him. The girl couldn't have been older than five years old. She was skin and bones, as was her mother. She whispered to her mother, who seemed to be upset at what she was saying. Against her mothers will, she came up to him.

"Hi, Mr. Raphael. My name is Kirsten." She stuck out her hand in an attempt to shake his hand. Unconsciously taking after his brother, he took it and kissed it, immediately making her blush.

"Nice to meet you, Kirsten." He looked straight into her eyes. He whispered, "Thank you for not being afraid of me." She smiled.

Then Father Tyler came and led Raph into an empty back room.Raphael sat there for the next two hoursexplaining almost all of his life story to the pastor. The young turtle was sobbing out how he had fought with his brother and then left his family.

"I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't want to leave, I was just so angry. Leo just doesn't respect me."

"Do you think your brother loves you?" He paused, then asked,"Do you love him?"

Raph was left speechless. He had to think about the answer to those questions.

"I think," Father Tyler went on, "that you do. You wouldn't be so emotional if you didn't care for him. I think that he loves you as well, but he doesn't know how to show it, and neither do you. You two have to learn how to communicate with your brother in a way that is non-violent."

"I-I don't know how.What should I do?"

"I think you should go back to your family. They are probably very worried about you. But don't take my word for it. Why don't you sleep in this room tonight and think about it...you may stay here as long as you like."

"Thank you, Father Tyler, I appreciate it." He stood and bowed to Tyler.

"Bless you, my child." He put his hand on Raphael's head as he spoke and then left the room, coming back with blankets and a pillow. Raph set up a bed and drifted into an uneasy sleep.

While they were talking..."Casey, have you seen Raph?" Mikey and Donnie split up to search all of Raph's favorite places hoping to find him.

"Sorry Mike, haven't seen him," Casey said. Michelangelo paced the floor, worried about his brother.

"What happened?" Angela asked.

"He and Leo got into a fight and Raph left. I don't know about Donnie or Master Splinter, but I'm really pissedat Leo right now. He stepped over the line. He had no right to correct Raph like that. He was just trying to suck up to Splinter, like he ALWAYS does. He's not even worried about him! Master Splinter punished him for fighting with Raph, and he walked out too. Now we have to look for both of them!"

"We should help you look for him." Casey said, getting up.

"O.K. I'll call Donnie on the shell cell and tell him you two are looking for him too."

"Mikey," He looked at Angie, "Will you take me down to the lair. I want to talk to Splinter."

"Alright. I'm not so sure how he'll like you coming down there right now, but it's worth a shot."

* * *

_The grass was greener this time. Raph had the same uneasy, watched feeling. He remembered what the voice had said earlier and called out to the whisper; **How do I look after her if I can't look after myself?** _Calm is the way to go. Make peace with your brother_. **How do I make peace when he won't admit he's wrong?** _He will if you apologize first...The others don't know where he is, but he is looking for you, he is worried_. **Like I really believe that**, Raph thought as the grass turned dark, and then withered and died. He saw at a distance Leo on his side, shell towards him. He walked over to him thinking he was asleep and was about to turn him over when..._

Raph looked through bleary eyesat the window. There was a dim light in the sky, dawn. He thought about his dream, trying to make sense of it. Father always told me 'If you can't figure out a dream, let it go, you weren't supposed to know what it meant' but what would the point of it be if I wasn't supposed to know? Should I go back?

He staggered up and moved over to the door. After he peered out and saw no one there he moved out into the hallway and found a bathroom. After he relieved himself and washed out the morning breath in the sink he then went back into his make shift room not wanting to be seen.

He did his normal morning routine, wanting to get the bad feeling inside of him out. He did punches and kicks into thin air with no effect. Someone knocked at the door and then came in. It was Kirsten, the girl from the night before. She had a tray with a plate of bacon and eggs on it.

"Father Tyler said this is for you and says that he apologizes for not being able to have more." It wrenched his heart out seeing that she was holding food for him when she should have it. Even though he was hungry, he couldn't take food from someone who needed it.

"No, I'm not hungry. Why don't you have it?"

"I've had breakfast."

"You have it. You look like you don't eat enough." He said, sitting down on the blanket. She set it down before him and sat across from him.

"Mr. Raphael, you need your strength." She fidgeted.

"Call me Raph, and you need this food more than I do," He pushed the plate in her direction. She looked at it helplessly.

"Go on, child," Came the soft voice of Father Tyler, "If he wants you to have it, then you may."

"Thank you, Father." Kirsten said, but there was still a hint of uncertainty.

"Why don't you take it into you and your mother's room, so you can share it with her."

"All right." She got up with the tray and made her way to the door. She stopped at the door and smiled back at Raph. "Thank you, Mr. Raph," She left.

"Have you made a decision?" Father Tyler asked.**  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**"Behind her in the grass the other one moving quickly, quickly to mount her."-Toni Morrison's Beloved**

"Master Splinter, I'm so sorry." Angie was kneeling before the sage rat, sobbing over what the red turtle had done and the fact that they hadn't found him last night. Casey had yelled at her when he found out Raph had stayed the night without his permission. "Je suis desolee. Je n'ai pas sais il ferait courrit. It's all my fault. I'm so sorry. I took your son away. If he hadn't stayed over he wouldn't have gotten into a fight with Leonardo. Je suis desolee."

The lair was empty. The others were up top looking for Raph. Angela and Splinter were the rats room.

"Angela, do you know where my son went?" Splinter asked. She shook her head, indicating that she didn't know. "Did you tell him to run off like that?" Again, she did not know the answer. He continued, "Then how can it be your fault?"

She looked up at him, confused. Stuttering, she cried out, "It's my fault because I let him stay over when I knew he had practice. I knew Leo would get mad at him, I knew he would get into trouble, they wouldn't have fought and neither of them would have run away!"

He thought on this a moment before he spoke again, "That was a bad descision, but it was not entirley yours. He knew that he had practice yesterday morning. It is alright. I am not angry with you. Will you tell me if either of them contacts you?"

"Of course, Master Splinter. I'd better start helping the others looking for them." She had heard enough from Raph to stand and bow before she left.

He walked her to her exit. He had stayed below incase either of them decided to come back. As she walked down the street, trying to think where Raph might go, she felt that she was being followed. She fished her house key from her pocket and put it between her fist for a makeshift blade. She knew that there were still members of her old gang out looking for her. But she also knew that most of them weren't that smart. If they were going tojump her they would have done it by now. But she still couldn't shake the feeling. She looked down an alley just as a dark figure dropped down behind a trash can.

"Who's there?" She called out. She took a step towards the alley but didn't go all the way in because she didn't want to trap herself.

"Come out, I saw you. I know you're behind the trash can." She picked up a discarded brick that was lying beside her and threw it at the trash can. It hit dead on with a loud crash.

"Ok, ok," the figure came out, "Don't make so much noise."

"Leo? You're Leo right?" She was staring a turtle in a blue mask hudling behind the trash can.

"Yes."

"Come out, I won't hurt you. Why were you following me?"

"I saw you out here alone, I didn't want anyone to gang up on you." He looked down, embarrased, quickly adding "Have you seen Raphael?" They walked to the back of the alley.

"I was just about to ask you the same thing. No, I haven't. I have just finished talking to Splinter. I'm sorry he ran off. Splinter said it wasn't my fault, but I can't help but feel responsible."

"No, it wasn't your fault. Raph knew he had practice. He's just a hothead, he'll cool down and come back after a while."

"How could you say that, he's your brother, you should be worried sick about him, I am."

"Don't be, he doesn't deserve it."

"Don't say that! He's the best thing that's happened to me. You're just jealous."

"Whoa, ok, don't get violent. Let's try and change the subject here. Where do you think Raph would have gone?"

"I don't know. Donatello told me all the places they were going to check. If they don't find him in those places I wouldn't know where to check."

"Well, they'll probablly find him then."

"Why did you run off?" She didn't believe it was like him to run out on his family like he did.

"I wanted to look for Raph."

"Why didn't you just stay and look for him with your brothers? They're looking for him."

"Master Splinter wouldn't let me out. I want to look for him." He looked down.

"You feel guilty, don't you? All this time I thought you were selfish. You're worried about him."

"No I'm not."

"You're worried about me then? I saw the way you were looking at me when you came over. Don't think it's gonna happen buddy, even if you were human. You're too much of a control freak for me. Raphael would be the one."

"What?" He turned away, "I don't believe you. Raph is gone and all you're thinking about is that?"

"It's what you're thinking about. You're not worried about his safety, although you are worried about him." He looked back over at her. Pain was in his eyes.

"I'm worried about your safety. You are a nice girl, he's a hothead." Scratching the back of his head, he looked down.

"You...you think he would hurt me?" Although it was more of a statement then a question. "I don't think he's like that, but I haven't known him as long as you. Answer me truthfully; would he hurt me?" Leonardo took in a deep breath.

"I don't know. He's never actually struck one of us out of true anger, except for me and I'm well equiped to fight back. When he gets annoyed he smacks Mikey on the back of the head, and we sometimes get into tussles, but I'm not sure if he actually would hurt you, at least on purpose. If he does that, would you tell me."

She had to think about this. She knew that Leo was trying to get after Raph. "Do you love your brother?"

"What?" He looked her straight in the eye.

"It's a simple question. Why don't you try to be nicer to him. He's nice when you're not yelling at him. Whenever he talks about you he normally says that you're riding his ass. Butthere were a few times when he mentioned when you were being nice.I understand that you want to make sure he stays out of trouble, and I would do the same thing if I were you, but do you have to be so mean to him if he comes back late? Why can't he have his own life?"

"I don't know. I guess you're right. I guess I should go back."

Leo had a surprise when he got home.


	5. Chapter 5

**"The impregnable strength of him-earthing his feet near her shoulders"-Toni Morrison's BELOVED**

Raph was sitting on the floor meditating with Master Splinter. As the blue turtle walked a little into the room he stopped. Raph opened one eye towards him, acknowledging his presence. Raphael then closed his eye and resumed his meditation.

"I am glad to see you have decided to come to join us Leonardo." Splinter said without opening his eyes or moving.

"I'm sorry I ran off like that, Sensai," He bowed as the rat opened his eyes, "It was foolish of me."

"Hey, you callin' me foolish?" Raph turned towards his brother.

"Raphael!" Splinter chided.

"Sorry, sensai." He continued to glare at Leonardo.

"Resume your meditation. Remember what we discussed earlier?" Splinter raised an eyebrow at his seated son.

"Yes, Sensai," He turned and closed his eyes.

"You," Splinter turned to the 'oldest' of his sons and then started walking, "come with me. You are in trouble." Raphael smiled at hearing that.

Splinter walked into the kitchen with Leo trailing behind him, like a dog trailing behind it's owner after it's done something wrong.

"I'm surprised with you, my son. You are not the one I would suspect to go runing off like that."

"I'm sorry, Sensai. I was trying to go looking for Raphael."

"No," his voice was harsh, this was a stern lecture, "Your other brothers went looking for him. Casey was looking for him. April and Angela were looking for him. You do not go looking for him. You are grounded. That's what grounded means, you stay put! You are not allowed out of the Lair for the next month unless I say so. Do you understand me?"

Leo kept his gaze down. "Yes, Sensai."

"Now, I want you to go out there and apologize to your brother."

Leo looked up. "For WHAT? I didn't do anything!"

"Do not talk back to me! You are the reason he ran off. If you hadn't stepped into my place and act superior to him, which you are not, this wouldn't have happened. Go and apoligize now, and when Micelangelo and Donatello get home you will apoligize to them for making them go off and look for him. You will also apoligize to Casey, April, and Angela as well, the next time you see them."

With a sigh Leo obeyed and went to go apologize. Then they were both sent to their rooms.

Later that evening, after Don and Mike came back and everyone was asleep, Leo went into Raph's room.

"What do you want?" The red turtle asked his brother in a somewhat decent tone.

"Wow, that wasn't as harsh as I thought it would be. I just wanted to know why you came back."

"Well, why did you come back?"

"I thought it was the right thing to do."

"I came back because a little birdie told me to."

"Seriously, why did you come back." Leo crossed his arms.

"Why are you still up?"

"Why are you up?"

"I'm not tired."

"Well neither am I. Now tell me why you came back."

"Fuck you Leo. You're so high on yourself. You're not better than me." Raph was going to continue, but then he stopped himself.

"You were going to say something else or are you through belittling me?"

Raph laid down on his bed and faced the wall, "This conversation is over."

"Why, to much of a coward to admit you wanted to come back, that you were afraid of the outside world?"

"Get outta my room, Leo."

"No, not until you tell me why you came back."

"Why did you leave, it's not like you to just go like that."

"I was looking for you." He eased up, suddenly remembering how tense and guilty he was when Raph left. His feeling showed through in his voice.

"I'll tell you tomorrow, how 'bout that?"

Leo left still curious but willing to drop the impending fight, surprised at how calm his brother became instead of inraged. Raph soon fell asleep.  
_  
_

_The grass was dead. Leo was where he was before, lying away from Raphael. He walked over to his brothers body, his mind feeling completly numb, like he had just taken a large dose of Nyquil. You are jealouse? _He's trying to take her, but she wont go with him. She will stay with you no matter what._ **What the hell do you know? You're just a dream. Everyone thinks he's better than I am. **Raph stopped walking, refusing to go farther. _I was right about why he left, wasn't I? You didn't even know he was gone.Remember what Tyler and your father said, he is not better._ The turtle just stood there. **What is Leo doin' here?**He motioned to his brothers body laying down on dead grass. _This is what will happen if you don't be careful._ **This is just a dream. Whatever I see, I'm gonna wake up and know it's not real.** He walked over to Leo's body and flipped it over._

Raph woke upscreaming. All of his brothers werein his room. Donatello was holding him while Leo went to get splinter. He stopped screaming as the rat stepped into the room, but he was still shaking.

"What happened?" Splinter was still groggy, but he stood by his most emotional sons bed. Raph was still panting, laying on his brothers shell. He looked at Leo and Mikey warily and then looked back at Splinter. He knew what the red turtle was worried about and sent everyone else back to bed. Don didn't want to leave his brothers side, but he got up and left, squezing Raphs hand before he left the bed side. As soon as everyone had left, Raph started telling what his dream was about.

"I was in a field and I saw Leo. He was lyin' down so I walked over to him. I turned him over and hi-his face. It was bloody, so badly beaten up that I couldn't recognize it." He turned his head into his pillow and started to softly cry.

"It was just a dream, my son." Splinter assured him, although he too was disturbed by the image. Wondering where his son had gotten this image in the first place, he sat down on the bed and tried to think. "You have not been bad. Why would you think that?"

"There was a voice in my dream, just a whisper. It said that if I didn't be careful, that was what was going to happen."

"Come with me, Raphael." The rat got up and walked to the door, waiting for him to follow. Raph, who still had tears flowing down his cheeks,got up and walked to his sensai, who led him into the kitchen. There Splinter started to make some tea.  



	6. Chapter 6

**"The embracing necks-hers stretching up toward his bending down, the pat pat pat of their touching heads. "-Toni Morrison's Beloved**

Disclaimer: I don't own The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

"It breaks my heart to se you this way, the beauty in life where's it gone, and somebody told me you were doin' ok, somehow I guess they were wrong, So you-"

"Raph, Master Splinter said no music." Leo and Raph were in the dojo, cleaning and polishing everything that could possibly be cleaned and polished, some of which they didn't even know they had. That was part of the rats disiplin, having them work together.

"No, he said no headphones, he didn't say no singing. I was humming yesterday in front of him when I was making dinner and he didn't say anything."

"Oh, ok."

"When do you think he'll let us back up top again?"

"He told me a month, and it's already been almost two weeks. So not that much longer."

"Easy for you to say." Raph mummbled as he headed towards the weapons case.

Mikey walked in holding two plates, crying out "Lunch for my pretties!"

"What?" The other two turtles asked as they looked over at him.

"Sorry, I just watched the 'Wizard of Oz'. Who names their city 'Oz'? Denver, now there's a good name for a city!"

"Hey, Mikey, come over here so I can clean out your brain." Raph chuckled as he held up a bottle of Windex.

"Free brain cleaning, cool!"

That night, after all their chores were finished, Raphael and Leonardo were sitting on the couch nursing their sore feet. Two straight weeks of standing, only being able to get off their feet while they were sleeping. They even had to eat standing. This was the first time they were allowed to sit down.

"Why is it so bad to stay in the lair for another two weeks? It's not so bad is it?"

"I don't know Leo. It's just..." He didn't say anything else but looked off.

"Is it Angela? Is that why you've been so good? You have been less agressive the past couple of weeks."

"Yeah. Not just her, though."

"Who else is there?" Leo looked at his brother quizically.

"When I was gone I met this little girl. I went to this old church where there's a bunch of homeless people. She was one of them. I want to be good because I promised her I wouldn't fight with you anymore. Her father was an abusive drunk, and after he died she and her mother had nowhere to go. She mae me promise...she made me promise that I wouldn't fight with you and that I would come back to see her again. She doesn't know I'm grounded so she probably thinks that I'm not going to keep my promise. She's so smart, I feel sorry for her. I want to help her but I can't."

"No height was beyond her yearning neck, stretching like a finger toward his, risking everything outside the bowl just to touch his face."-Toni Morrisons Beloved

Two weeks later and the boys were free to go up top again. Raph immediatly high tailed it to the old church.

When Kirsten saw him she immediatly ran to him and jumped into his arms. She didn't let go of him as he went to go find Father Tyler. While they were walking through down the isles the young girl started a coughing fit.

"You ok kid?" She nodded. "How long have you had that cough." He suddenly noticed the dark circles under her eyes.

"Almost a week." She said, her voice now a little strained as she tried to stiffle a few more coughs. "Father Tyler gave me some nasty tasting medicine for it last night. It helped me sleep but I feel just as bad now. Mommy's got it too."

"Maybe I can bring you some extra blankets next time I come over. It's startin' to get cold out. Do you feel tired?"

"I haven't been sleeping because the cough is keeping me up. Last night was the first time I sleeped in a long time," Raph smiled at her grammer mistake.

"Slept, not sleeped."

"What's the difference?"

"Nevermind," He laughed.

After about an hour of downtime with Kirsten he left, promising to come back the next day.

He then headed towards his best friends house.

"Yo, Casey!" He peered in through the back window.

"Raph! Long time no see!" Casey opened the door and let him in, then gave him a big hug.

"Where's Angie?"

"What, you ain't interested in me no more? She went to go fix a friends computer or somethin', she'll be back soon, so don't worry loverboy."

"What? You're gonna pay for that."

"Cash or check?"

"Ha. Hey, do you have any extra blankets?"

"Why? How many blankets do you guys use in a year? I just gave you some last winter."

"They're not for me. You know that old church about two blocks up?"

"The grungy one with all the homeless people in it?"

"There's a little girl with a cough 'cause she don't have any blankets."

"Well, maybe, but I gotta see this chick for myself."

"Anything important happen while I was trapped down below?" Raph asked Casey as he sat on the couch.

"No, not really. I did get a raise though, I tell ya that?" He said as he sat on an overstuffed recliner.

"No, how much?"

"It's only a dollar sixty-seven more a week, but it's somethin'. Maybe I'll be able to actually get generic brand candy before the experation date."

"You don't like candy."

"I know, but it would still be nice to be able to buy it before it gets all stale and goes on sale."

"Speaking of 'loverboy', how are things goin' with you an' April?"

"What? Who told you?"

"No one, I just asked, you're the one who implicated yourself," Raph grinned.

"Agh, you caught me. We've only had like two dates though."

"Only, that's a lot for you two. How often do you see each other?"

"Every day." He said it softly.

"What, you're gonna have to speak up, I couldn't hear you..." Raphs grin got even bigger.

"Every day, ok! Happy now?"

"Oh, yeah." The turtle leaned back and put his hands behind his head satisfied with making Casey blush.

"How are things between you an' Angie anyway? I'm surprised Splinter let you call her when you were grounded."

"Actually, he doesn't know. Only Donnie does, and that's because he can see all the calls made on the payphone and the shell cells. He promised not to tell though."

"You're gonna get into trouble with that kinda behavior; ya' know that?"

"I can't help it, I feel like I'm gonna explode!"

"Really, from what I'm pickin' up from her she kinda feels the same way." Casey raised an amused eyebrow, turning the tables on his friend.

Then Angela walked in lugging her laptop in it's case and a box of loose parts. Raph immediatly sat up, putting his feet on the floor.

"Hey, Raph, you're back..." She looked down, akwardly balancing her things.

"Um...yeah," He could only get in glances at her.

"Oh, I see how it is," Casey said looking at Raph, "I'll be in my room," He got up and walked out of the living room.

"Raph..."

"Yeah?"

"You wanna go into my room?"

"Sure." He jumped up and went over to the door to her room. He opened it and grabbed her laptop and carried it into her room for her.

She put her things away and sat down on the bed, motioning for him to do so as well. They ended up sitting next to each other. Angela put her head on his shoulder as he put his arm around her shoulder.

"I feel so bad that you got punished."

"It wasn't your fault, Angie."

"You're not mad at me?"

"Of course not. Why would you think I was mad at ya?"

"I got you in trouble. If you didn't stay at my house that night you would of never gotten in trouble and gotten grounded. I just want you to know that I'm-"

"Don't apoligize. It wasn't your fault. Let's change the subject. What have you been up to lately?"

"Nothing. Just fixing computers for some friends." She snuggled deeper until her head was resting in the creviceof his neck.

"You gettin' paid for it?"

"Sometimes...for some good friends I don't charge, but they always give me great referals so I don't really have to."

"That's good. I bet you're gettin' good money of a that."

"It's not as good as you might think. I'm only making about $30 of each job. I should probably take a little longer with each job, maybe I'll make more money. I charge by the hour."

"If I were you I would definitly take a little longer. I would want the money."

"It's not about the money for me. It's about getting the job done. If I didn't get the job done fast I wouldn't have as many people reffering me to other people."

"Oh." He slowly moved his hand from her shoulder down her side to her stomach. "I guess that makes sense."

"Ben...what time is it?"

"I dunno...like eleven. Might be a little later. What does that word mean?"

"What word?" She lifted up her head to look at him.

"Something like 'Ben'. I take it that's a French word."

"Oh, that. It's like the word 'um'. It's just something you say when you're thinking of a word." She snuggled her head back into its prevouse position and pulled his arm tighter around her waist.

---

"Where did your brothers go?" Splinter asked Mikey, who was sitting on the couch watching t.v. He was the only one in the lair with the rat.

"I dunno, I think Donnie went up to the Junkyard to train with Leo. I don't know where Raph is though. Probably at Casey's though." He took a sip from his Orange Juice and flipped around on the changer. Splinter sighed.

"Go up and find Raphael."

"What? Why? He didn't do anything."

"I know. I didn't say bring him back down here I just said go find him. You two need to be spending 'quality time' together."

"Aww, but Nightmare Before Christmas is on!"

"I have a special job for you, Michelangelo."

"Really, is it better than a Tim Burton movie?"

"Much better. How would you like to be my secret chaperon?"

"Chaperon? Like watching over someone who might get into trouble?" He was getting excited at this idea.

"Yes." Splinter knew what Raphael might get into with Angela, no matter how many punishments he could dish out.That was why he was sending Mikey to go be with him.

"Cool! All I have to do is go hang out with Raph?"

"Yes. Go make sure he is not getting into trouble or doing things that he is not supposed to be doing. But it is a secret, so don't tell him that you are watching over him, just tell him you want to, how do you put it, 'hang out'." All Splinter wanted was to make sure Raph didn't get into trouble, but he knew this 'mission' was important to Mikey as well.

"Ok, I'll go out and search for him. Scouts honor I won't tell." He did a salut and then ran out of the lair.

* * *

Menwhile, at the church... 

"Father Tyler, my tummie hurts."

"Don't worry, my child." He scooped Kirsten up into his arms and headed for the hospital. He knew that her prognosis wasn't good. She had been sick for a week with a cogh and fever. Now she had started to vomit. He didn't have a car so he had to carry her three miles in bitter wind to get to the nearest hospital. He didn't know if they would even accept her as a homeless girl without insurance, but maybe they would do something for her.


	7. Chapter 7

**"The gravity of their shields, clashing, countered and mocked the floating heads touching"-Toni Morrison's Beloved**

"When is Splinter getting back?" Mikey moaned.

"About half an hour. Stop being so impatient." Donny said.

"He's been out for so long!" the orange turtle whined," Why does it take him so long to go get food?"

"Because you eat so much."

"I'm going topside." Raph blurted, grabbing his keys.

"Don't do it. You do know it's dangerous to go outside by yourself. What if something happened to you, we'd have no way of knowing." Donny reminded him

"Yeah, unless we watch the news," Mikey chimed in, "I can see it now 'five foot turtle discovered in alley, bum who found him making millions from t.v. interviews...'"

"Like I care." Raph said as he reached for his helmet.

"If you're not going to listen to me, then you might wanna listen to Leo and Master Splinter, they said not to leave until they get back! I don't want to see you get into trouble again."

"Please don't leave. I don't like seeing you an' Leo gettin' into fights." Mikey said.

"Fine then! I'm goin' to my room. Don't even think about bothering me." He stalked off to his room and slammed the door behind him.

"Holy crap, he actually listened to us." Mike said, amazed.

* * *

later...

* * *

"Hey, Raph!" Mikey called through Raph's closed door.

"I seriously hope you ain't talkin' to me, Mike. I am not in the mood."

The orange turtle opened the door on his brother, "What kind of mood are you in?" Mikey asked.

"The kind of mood to smash in your face for comin' into my room." The red turtle growled.

"Hey, that's not nice." He made a pouty face

"Well that's what'ya get for commin' in here,"

"Oh, that's no way to talk to your baby brother. By the way, Casey's here!"

"What? Why?"

"I think he said something about Angela's dowry," Mikey grew a cheeky grin.

"Get outta here!" Raph grabbed a pillow off of his bed and hurled it at Mikey who quickly dodged the attack by closing the door. Raph heard him snicker behind the door as he got up to follow him. Opening the door as roughly as possible, he managed to hit Mike in the arm.

"OW! That hurt! I'm telling Splinter!"

"Get over it ya big baby." He said, going over to where Casey was sitting on the couch, "Hey, Casey! What brings ya down here?"

"I can't visit my friends? Where's Leo an' Splinter?"

"They'll be back in a few minutes, they were just out gettin' food."

"Oh. That reminds me, I need t' go grocery shoppin' later," He said, crossing his legs over the coffee table,"Wait a sec, where's Angie? She in the bathroom or somethin'?"

"What?"

"She said she was headin' down here about half an hour ago. I had somethin' else I had t' do, so I said I'd meet 'er down here. She's not here?"

"No, I didn't even know she was comin' down," Raph said, getting panicked.

"Oh boy," Casey sprang up from the couch.

"She could have just gotten side tracked." Donny suggested.

"Yeah, right," Casey muttered.

* * *

"Angie!" Casey called into a black alley.

Everyone was searching for her.

"Angela!" Raph painfully called in another area of town.

They had parked the Battle Shell on a side street and fanned out to rendezvous in three hours.

April stayed at Casey's apartment and Master Splinter stayed below, just in case she needed came back or needed to hide.

The first places they checked were three hospitals, then multiple police stations, then the morgue. They had to call these places, but none of them had anyone matching her description. So they decided to search in every back alley they could think of, fearing the worst but hoping for her to be alive.

* * *

In another part of town..."Let me go!" Angela screamed at Ray-Ray, her former gang leader.

"Ya always was a feisty one, Ange..." He got close to her. She was tied up to a bolted down chair in the corner of their ware house. He stroked her cheek, and she managed to take bite his finger. He yelped and jumped back. His body guard pointed his gun at her, but he motioned for him to lower his weapon.

"What the fuck do you want with me?" She asked, "Why don't you just kill me, at least then I'd be with Drake!"

"Oh," He chuckled, "You'd like that, wouldn't you? You little bitch," He stepped forward and slapped her, "No, I have another plan for you. You'll pay for what you and your brother did."

"You hit like a girl. We did the right thing!" She retorted, licking blood from the corner of her mouth, "So many of my friends died because of YOU! All the drive-by's, the o.d.'s, so many suicides, because of you and your gang. Don't you feel guilty?"

"Guilt, what's that?" He asked slyly.

"Guilt, the reason Playboy has articles!" She was on the verge of screaming,"I got someone looking for me. I won't be here for long."

"Oh, you must mean that worn out hockey wanna-be. Casey, is it? He couldn't catch a bullet."

"HELP!" She started screaming this over and over again as loud as she possibly could while struggling to get out of her bonds. Ray-Ray went into another room and dragged out something that was also struggling. He went over to Angela with a struggling little girl in his arms. She was also tied up. Angela stopped screaming as Ray-Ray's dark and scarred hands held up the girls deathly paled skin. Her bright blue eyes burned into Angela's.

"You see this little girl. I picked her up from the hospital. She's an orphan just like you."

"That's not true! I want my mommy. My mommy's at the hospital waiting for me," She began to struggle, but then started a coughing fit.

"Apparently the market is up right now for sex slaves. They want beautiful little girls like this so they can train them young. Unfortunately I think this one may be a bit too loud to be of any use for selling, but I'm sure I can use her, just like I can use you," He pulled out a knife from his sagging jeans and held it to Kirsten's throat while starring at Angela, "Ange, you better be quiet before I decide to take my anger out on her."

* * *

"Ugh, stupid 24 hour rule. She could be dead lying in an alley somewhere! Jus' when everything was going so well," Casey groaned.

"Why do you think God is against me?" Raph asked Casey unexpectedly. They had just climbed into the back of the battle shell and were physically and mentally exhausted after three hours of searching.

"God isn't on any body's side, man. I think He's kinda like a politician; He claims He's on your side, and I guess He was at first, but after a while He kinda got it into His big head that we all owe him one or somethin'. He just can't relate. He doesn't even do anything anymore, He just has his angels do everything. An' we're like a second class race compared to them. We can't even fly on our own, we gotta do everything with machines."

"Don't we have a choice, though?"

"What? To become angels?" Casey asked.

"No, God gave humans, when he made them, the right to choose for themselves to follow what he said. I don't think angels can do that."

"Hmph, sucks for them then, don't it?" He yawned and stretched out on the back seat, stretching his legs out on Raph.

"Why did he make us, though?" Raph didn't seem to mind his friends legs.

"He made humans coz He was bored, prob'ly."

"No, us, me and my brothers?" The turtle sounded distant.

"Oh, I dunno. Maybe it's too keep people safe?"

"But why? Why couldn't we become cops or somethin', if that's what he wanted us for."

"Man, I don't know this stuff, I ain't a preacher, ya know. I've never been that religious," Casey looked at his watch, "The others should be here soon," Right on cue, the van slid back and a shilohet of Michelangelo was basked in the moonlight.

"Any luck?" Casey and Raphael asked in unison to the younger turtle.

"Uh-uh, and my feet hurt," He moaned. Then Leo showed up. The other three looked at him expectantly.

"I didn't find anything," He groaned, climbing into the drivers seat and putting his forehead against the over sized wheel. Then Donatello showed up very excited, if a little winded.

"Guys, I just got word from some drug dealers," Donnie said.

"I'd make a joke, but I'm too tired." Mikey moaned groggily.

"What did you hear?" Raph asked.

* * *

"Hey, Lyle, c'mere, look what I found." A thug said in the warehouse. He was sitting on top of a box.

"Wylde, this better not be another one a them tricks..." Joe said, walking over, "We's supposed to be standing guard."

"Pfft, no one's ever found us before. Anyway's, Ray told me to unpack this box, I wanna show it to ya. Whad'ya think we're gonna do with these?" He got up from the box and lifted the lid, exposing multiple very expensive looking machine guns.

"Whoa, when'd we get these?"

"This morning. According to Ray they could shoot through a steel armored truck. We got enough guns an' bullets to take down the Marines..."

"You two," Ray-Ray yelled, "Get up in the rafters with those guns. If anyone sneaks in here, shoot 'em."

"Yes, sir!" The two said with enthusiasm.

---

"You sure this is the place, Don?" Raph asked, peeking in a dimly lit window of a warehouse.

"Trust me," Donatello said, "Thugs do tend to be reliable when scared out of their pants. He said he heard a new gang leader had kidnapped two girls, one of them matched Angie's description."

"What we waitin' for then? Let's go," Casey said, eager to get Angela back.

"Alright, lets move in," Leonardo said, "And remember, be quiet!" He said, looking at Casey. Everyone pulled black ski masks over their head and began to sneak around to the back door. Everyone was clad in black.

"Remind me again," Mikey whispered to no-one in particular, "Why we're dressed like bandits..."

"Because," Leo answered, "We're not dealing with the Foot or the Purple Dragons. We don't want these guys after us as well."

"Why don't we just let the police deal with it then?" Mike asked as he began to get confused.

"Because," Raph said sarcastically, "The police are the backbone of this society. We have to trust them when they say they don't have time to look for productive members of society."

"Now is not the time to be funny, Raph." Mikey said, rolling his eyes.

"Both of you be quiet!" Leo whispered harshly, "We're here. Donny, pick that lock."

"Sir, yes sir!" Donny said in a mock salute, then began to work on the lock. While he was working on it Leo peeked in a nearby window.

"Donny, don't open it after you get it unlocked. There's a guy with a machine gun pointed right at the door. We need a distraction."

"I know," Whispered Casey, "Break a window as a distraction."

"Got it!" Said Donny triumphantly.

"Alright. I'll break a window on the right side of the building. As soon as you hear a crash, go in and go to the left. There are crates in there that you'll be able to hide behind." Leo said, "I'll sneak in after you. It might take me a while."

"Nuh uh," Casey said, "You guys are way better at stealth than me. I'll break the window and wait for you guys out here."

"Yeah," Said Leo, "It would be better if you wait, we don't want you getting hurt trying to sneak in."

"Ok, let's get this over with. Good luck you guys." Casey said.

"What the fuck was that?" Ray-Ray asked as Kirsten screamed. Everyone looked over at a nearby brick and broken glass.

That better not be Casey or Raph. They don't stand a chance against those high powered riffles. Angela thought. She looked over at the back door and saw four figures slip behind the crates. Oh no...please don't get yourselves shot.

"You!" The gang leader pointed at a random thug, "Get outside. See where that came from. Everyone else stay at your post. Keep watching the doors. It's a distraction. Shoot to kill!"

---

"Did you hear that?" Mikey whispered. Everyone shushed him.

Through the crates Raph saw Angela tied to a chair next to a man in a gray hoodie. The man was turned away from him, but Raph could see he was holding something big that was struggling. Then the man doubled over and Raph saw a small figure run towards the exit they just entered through.

"Catch her! I want her alive. You're gonna pay for that ya little bitch." He yelled after Kirsten.

"Run, RUN!" Angela shouted.

Raphael held his breath the few short moments it took the girl to get to the door. She managed to get to it but as soon as she pulled on the handle a punk grabbed her and placed his hand over her mouth. All the turtles got a good look at her terrified face.

Kirsten! Raph got up before his brothers could stop him and tackled the punk.

"Intruders," Yelled Ray-Ray, "Kill them!" A hail of bullets rained around the turtle as he tried to shield Kirsten. At his first chance he ran behind more crates and placed her safely in a crevice before taking out two criminals with a low kick.

Angela watched in horror as someone accidentaly shot the breaker box. As sparks flew fom it, the lights shut off. In the pitch black she ducked her head, and she could only hear slashes, gunshots, and crys of pain. Then she felt something cold on her hands. She jumped in her binds.

"It's okay," She heard Raphael whisper.

"Oh, thank God, I thought you had been killed," She could feel him undoing the ropes that held her.

"When I finish untieing you, get on the ground and start moving towards the back door. Casey's out waiting for you and Kirsten." The wrope slid off her wrists and she started to get down from the chair, but she felt Raphs hands on her shoulders. She felt his beak near her ears, "I love you," He whispered then let go of her shoulders.

Without thinking she did as she was told, sliding to the ground and wriggling towards where she thought the exit was. When she got outside she found Casey holding a shocked little girl.

"Are you Kirsten?" Angela asked, still in shock. The girl nodded.

"We gotta get her back to the hospital. She's real sick," Casey said.

* * *

One week later...

As Raph put away the last dish in the kitchen, he turned and looked out into the rest of the lair. Mikey was doing the useual, playing video games. Don was probably off somewhere tinkering with the toaster again. He looked over at Leo in the dojo, meditating on his blue mat. How he could manage to calm his mind with Mikey's game up so loud Raphael could never figure out.

Just then Splinter came in to the kitchen and sat down at a chair. He noticed Raphael far off gaze at his brother's meditation and smiled. "You should try it some time. It really clears the mind." The rat said.

"Huh, oh that...I was just wondering how he could meditate with the music from Mikey's game."

"It's one of those things one can learn to, how do you say...tune out?" He smiled.

"Yeah I guess."

"How is the little girl?"

"I dunno. Casey called about three days ago, said she was gettin' better." The turtle didn't mention there were signs of rape, "I saw on the news that the gang leader starts his trial in two weeks. She's gonna have to testify. So is Angie."

Splinter saw the worried look on his sons face. "Why don't you go up and see her?"

"I thought I was still grounded..."

Splinter shook his head, "You've learned your lesson. She's more important that your chores."

Raphael bowed, "Thank you Sensei."

_A sordid basic apartment where two figures sat lazily on well worn couches. One was a man who seemed to be in his early 20's, dark hair, solomn eyes. The other was a large mutated terripian. **There's one thing I don't understand,** Raph asked, _One thing?_ **Why did you show me Leo like that?** _I wanted to get your attention._** Well it worked, man. Don't ever do that to me again**_ Don't worry, I won't. _**What is Kirsten going to turn out like. This isn't gonna be an easy battle for her.** _She'll be fine...You just watch, she's gonna go through some more rough times. Stay by here and she's gonna end up a motivational speaker._ **What about Angie?** _What about her?_ **Me and her. Is there hope?** I...can't tell ya that man, sorry. Don't worry about it though. I'm gonna be there for the both of ya...This is the last time I'm gonna be able to talk to you like this. I'd say tell her I love her, but I don't want to make you seem any more crazy than you are. Raph rolled his eyes, **Thanks for considering it. Am I ever gonna see you again?** _I'm still gonna be with you both. I'll see you both in the end. Don't worry about it._ They both smiled and embraced. _See you later, Raph,_ **Later bro.**_

Raph felt a pressure on his left arm. He smiled and did his best not to move, even though he had to pee. He opened his eyes and looked down at Angie sleeping on his shoulder. She had her arm wrapped around his plasteron and her hand was gently cradeling the right side of his face. After some moments of unparalelled bliss and seering pain, his bladder got the better of him. Slowly and deliberatly he snuck out of her arms, pulling the blankets around her as he left. With an agility only comparable to his brothers, the teen slipped off the bed and into the bathroom in the dark.

When he got back from the bathroom Raph tried to sneak back into the warm comfort of the bed as quietly as he had left. Just when he thought he had successeded, "You don't have to be anywhere, do you?"

"No. Go back to sleep, it's too early to get up." She snuggled back to the position she was in before.

"I love you too Raph." Angela said groggily as she drifted back into sleep.

"Love you..." He whispered.

* * *

Ray-Ray and several other gang members were caught. Three of them pled to felony charges to get less time in prison. While in jail Ray-Ray was put on suicide watch, but managed to rip out some of the coils in his matress and cut his wrists. He will not be missed...

Kirsten got better, and her mother got a job working as a store clerk. Raph and Angie visit her on a regular basis.  



End file.
